HHS Takes on Surgery Procedures Deemed Necessary

Elephant Ears

The HHS (Health and Human Services) has announced they will be analyzing plastic surgery to determine what will be considered ‘elective’ or ‘critical’ procedures.

The panel will consist of both physicians and psychiatrists as the ‘whole’ of the person will be the focus.  Physical defects that do not hinder one’s ability to function will not be covered, however, if they impede or cause physical/emotional harm, these procedures will be covered.

The panel came to a unanimous decision pertaining to excessively large and extended ears.  Due to the fact that they:

1.)     Can collect more debris, it was found to stifle the ability to listen;

2.)     Can inflict brain damage due to the ears flapping and pummeling the brain if the individual is susceptible to high winds, i.e.; Chicago (better known as the Windy City), and;

3.)     Can cause emotion inferiority complexes that transform into narcissism later in life.

Hmm.